Calming Signals: What Your Dog Is Trying to Tell You

The Language You're Missing

Norwegian dog trainer and behaviorist Turid Rugaas spent decades observing how dogs communicate with each other. She identified over 30 distinct behaviors that dogs use to signal peaceful intentions and de-escalate tense situations. She called them "calming signals."

The concept changed how trainers and behaviorists think about dog communication. And it should change how you interact with your dog.

Calming signals serve several purposes: dogs use them to calm themselves down when stressed, to calm others (including you), to signal that they're not a threat, and to ask for space or relief from a tense situation. They're part of a universal canine language — all dogs know them, regardless of breed, size, or background.

The catch? These signals are often subtle. They happen quickly. And they look like ordinary behaviors we dismiss as meaningless — or worse, interpret as something they're not.

The Core Calming Signals

Here are the most common calming signals and what they actually mean:

Yawning

People yawn when they're tired or bored. Dogs yawn for those reasons too — but they also yawn when they're stressed, anxious, or trying to defuse tension.

Your dog might yawn when someone bends over them, when there's yelling in the house, when you're asking them to do something they're uncertain about, or when they're at the vet. Context is everything. A yawn after waking up from a nap is just a yawn. A yawn during a stressful interaction is communication.

The scene people often misread: The dog is surrounded by kids at a family gathering. She lets out a big yawn. "Isn't that sweet? She's so relaxed!" Nope — she's overwhelmed and asking for help.

Lip Licking / Nose Licking

Not the slow licking of a dog who just ate something tasty. This is a quick flick of the tongue, often barely visible, that happens when a dog is feeling uneasy or trying to signal peaceful intentions.

Dogs often lip-lick when someone approaches them directly, when they're meeting an unfamiliar dog, or during training sessions that are going on too long or getting frustrating.

Turning Away / Looking Away

When dogs feel uncomfortable, they'll pointedly look away or turn their head to the side. Sometimes they'll turn their entire body.

This is one of the most commonly misinterpreted signals. People often think their dog is ignoring them, being stubborn, or "blowing them off." In reality, the dog is expressing discomfort and trying to de-escalate. When owners see this and intensify their demands — getting louder, more insistent — they're doing the exact opposite of what the dog is asking for.

"Whale Eye" (Half-Moon Eye)

When a dog turns their head away but keeps their eyes fixed on something concerning, you'll see the whites of their eyes in a crescent or half-moon shape. This is whale eye.

It's a clear indicator that your dog is anxious, stressed, or guarding something. You might see it when someone reaches for a bone or toy, when a stranger gets too close, or when a child is doing something that makes the dog uncomfortable. Whale eye is often one of the earlier warning signs before escalation. If you see it, pay attention to what's causing it.

Sniffing the Ground

Sometimes your dog suddenly drops their nose to the ground and sniffs intently — even though there's nothing particularly interesting there.

This is often a displacement behavior. Dogs do it to avoid a stressful interaction, signal that they're not a threat, or give themselves a moment to process a tense situation. It's the canine equivalent of checking your phone when an awkward silence falls.

Freezing

When a dog stops moving completely — goes statue-still — pay close attention. Freezing is often a sign of high stress or uncertainty. The dog is processing something intense and hasn't yet decided how to respond. Freezing can precede a fear response or even aggression, so it's an important signal not to ignore.

Walking in a Curve

Dogs approaching each other in a friendly way rarely walk directly toward one another. They curve — approaching in an arc rather than a straight line. This is polite dog greeting behavior.

When we walk our dogs straight toward another dog (head-on, tight leash) we're often violating this protocol and creating tension. The dogs know better than we do.

Other Common Signals

The list goes on: scratching (when not actually itchy), shaking off (like they're wet, even when dry — often happens after a stressful interaction), play bowing in tense situations, sitting or lying down, slowing movements, and softening the eyes. Dogs have a rich vocabulary for saying "I come in peace" and "this is too much for me."

Once you learn to read calming signals, you can't unsee them.

Why We Miss These Signals

Here's the uncomfortable truth: dogs are constantly trying to communicate with us, and we routinely fail to notice — or actively misinterpret what they're saying.

We Misread the Behavior

A dog yawns, and we think they're tired. A dog turns away, and we think they're being stubborn. A dog licks their lips, and we think they're anticipating food. A dog sniffs the ground, and we think they're just being a dog. Without understanding context, we interpret these behaviors through a human lens — and get it wrong.

The Signals Are Subtle and Quick

Many calming signals happen in a fraction of a second. A quick tongue flick. A brief head turn. If you're not actively watching, you'll miss them entirely. Dogs perceive tiny details — slight changes in posture, subtle movements, micro-expressions. They're reading us with precision that makes our observations look crude by comparison.

We Don't Know We're Causing Stress

Things that seem harmless or even affectionate to us can be threatening to dogs: walking directly toward them, bending over them, making sustained eye contact, reaching over their heads to pet them, hugging them tightly.

The dog sends calming signals in response. We don't notice. The dog's stress increases. We keep doing the thing. The cycle continues until the dog either shuts down or escalates.

What Happens When We Ignore Calming Signals

When a dog's early communication attempts go unnoticed, they have to escalate.

The progression often looks like this: The dog shows subtle calming signals (lip lick, head turn, yawn). Those are ignored. The dog shows more obvious signals (whale eye, freezing, moving away). Those are ignored or the dog is prevented from moving away. The dog growls or shows teeth. Finally, the dog snaps or bites.

People describe these bites as happening "out of nowhere" — but there were almost always warning signs that were missed. The dog was communicating the whole time. We just weren't listening.

Beyond the safety implications, ignoring calming signals over time can damage your dog's emotional wellbeing. Dogs who repeatedly try to communicate and are repeatedly ignored can become chronically stressed, anxious, or even lose the ability to give calming signals altogether — which makes them harder to read and potentially more dangerous.

When I Learned This the Hard Way

Early on with Lupin, I was training the "down" command. I'd link the word to the action, reward the behavior — standard stuff. But Lupin wasn't getting it, and I got frustrated. My tone got sharper. My body language got tense.

By the end of the session, when I said "down," Lupin would kind of go down and then crawl away. A few days later, I tried again. The first time I said "down," he just slinked away. I had completely tainted the command.

So I switched to "platz" — the German command — thinking a fresh start would help. Same thing happened. I got frustrated, and I now had two commands that made Lupin slink away and none that made him lie down.

What I was missing, obviously, was that Lupin was reading me with far more precision than I was reading him. My energy, my tension, my frustration — he was picking up on all of it and responding with his own signals: avoidance, appeasement, stress. I just wasn't seeing it.

That experience taught me that the most important thing in training isn't technique — it's energy. And understanding your dog's signals is how you know if your energy is working for or against you.

How to Use Calming Signals

Understanding calming signals isn't just about reading your dog — you can actually use them yourself to communicate back.

Reading Your Dog

• Pay attention to context. A behavior only becomes a calming signal in the right context. Watch what's happening around your dog when they yawn, lick their lips, or turn away.
• Look for clusters. One signal might be nothing. Multiple signals together — lip licking plus head turn plus whale eye — are definitely communication.
• Notice the pattern. Does your dog show calming signals around certain people, in certain situations, during certain activities? That tells you something.
• Respect the signal. When your dog is telling you they're uncomfortable, believe them. Give space. Remove the stressor. Don't force the interaction.

Sending Signals Back

Here's the fascinating part: you can use calming signals with your own dog.

• Yawn at your dog when they're stressed — during a vet visit, when meeting new dogs, during a difficult training session. Research suggests dogs can "catch" yawns from their humans, and it may genuinely help calm them.
• Turn your body to the side rather than facing your dog head-on during tense moments.
• Soften your eyes and blink slowly rather than staring directly.
• Move slowly and curve your approach rather than walking straight toward a nervous dog.
• Lower your height by crouching rather than bending over.

You're essentially speaking their language. It won't feel natural at first — but try it and watch how your dog responds.

What Changes When You Start Paying Attention

Once you start seeing calming signals, you can't unsee them. You'll notice them in your own dog, in dogs at the park, in photos and videos online. You'll start to see just how much dogs are communicating that we've been missing.

More importantly, you'll understand your own dog better. You'll know when they're actually relaxed versus just tolerating something. You'll catch stress early, before it escalates. You'll build more trust because your dog will realize that you actually hear them.

Dogs are masters at reading us. We owe it to them to put in the effort to read them back. The good news is that it's not complicated — just start watching. Pay attention. Notice what they're doing with their body, their mouth, their eyes, their posture.

Your dog has been talking to you this whole time. You just need to learn to listen.

— John & Lupin | Doggo Sessions
Train frequently and everywhere. Stay hydrated. Live better with your dog.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are calming signals in dogs?

Calming signals are behaviors dogs use to communicate stress, peaceful intent, or discomfort — to other dogs and to humans. Identified by Norwegian trainer Turid Rugaas, common examples include yawning, lip licking, looking away, sniffing the ground, and freezing. They're the dog's equivalent of de-escalation tactics.

How do I know if my dog's yawn is a calming signal?

Context matters. A yawn after waking from a nap is just tiredness. A yawn during a tense interaction, while being hugged, or when surrounded by loud activity is likely a calming signal indicating stress or discomfort.

Can calming signals predict aggression?

They can be early warning signs. When calming signals are repeatedly ignored, dogs escalate — from subtle signals to growling to snapping. Understanding and respecting calming signals is one of the most effective ways to prevent dog bites.

Can I use calming signals with my dog?

Yes. Yawning at a stressed dog, turning sideways instead of facing them head-on, blinking slowly, and crouching instead of bending over can all signal peaceful intent to your dog in ways they instinctively understand.